Dana's Slice of Foodie FOMO

As mentioned in the podcast, here are my 5 big tips for becoming a Reformed Bad Baker. They might seem “duh,” but sometimes you need the “duh.” I’m here for you with support of the “duh.”

  1. READ THE RECIPE METICULOUSLY FIRST. Sit with it. Read it. Read it the fuck out loud. Internalize it. Take notes if you like. But really register everything about to be asked of you. No alarms and no surprises. Hot tip: It does not hurt to also snap a picture of the recipe in your phone so that you have it to reference.

  2. CHECK YOUR KITCHEN FOR THE ITEMS YOU NEED. RIGHT DAMN NOW. Do it now. Don’t assume you have everything. And that includes cooking supplies as well. Then make your grocery list.

  3. GIVE YOURSELF WAY MORE TIME THAN YOU NEED. Take it slow. Easy like Sunday morning. If you are not confident in your baking but want to find your footing, devote a whole day or afternoon or whatever to it, so that it can be a chill thing and not like Gordon Ramsay is breathing down your neck.

  4. FOLLOW THE RECIPE AS CLOSELY AS POSSIBLE. And that means measure everything. Yes. Everything. Just do it. Don’t argue with me. I don’t care if you get every measuring spoon and cup in your kitchen dirty. Do what the recipe says. You need to learn the rules before you can successfully break the rules.

  5. JUST KEEP TRYING. Do it again. In the words of Samuel Beckett, “fail again, fail better.” Look, I HATE being bad at things. I’m notorious for stopping a new thing because I’m not great at it right off the bat. (See: Aerial classes.) But baking, I was willing to keep sucking at. And if you take it slow, keep plugging away, keep learning the rules, etc., you will absolutely get better. And when in doubt, Google that shit.

I’ve previously mentioned the best gluten-free brownie recipe I’ve ever had, and that I’ve also managed to veganify it, making it great for large crowds in Los Angeles. CLICK HERE FOR THE RECIPE! For the vegan version, I made it using a blend of Earth Balance and coconut oil instead of butter, and instead of egg, I used Follow Your Heart VeganEgg mixed with water. IMPORTANT: Do NOT use the amount of water called for on the package of VeganEgg if you’re baking something that calls for 3 or more eggs.
If recipe calls for 1-2 ’eggs’, then use 5 Tbsp ice cold water per VeganEgg
If recipe calls for 3+ ’eggs’, then use ¼ Cup ice cold water per VeganEgg

When baking with the stuff, I add the water with caution, eyeballing it until the consistency is similar to raw egg (after having a major mishap involving too much water and a pan of brownies that needed, like, 2 hours to bake).

And in the event I actually ever attempt DIY Cadbury Creme Eggs, y’all will be the first to know. (Well, Brandi, then you. OK, Travis too. And also probably several people I know— THE POINT IS I WILL TELL YOU.)